I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Randomize
