somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
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