His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
