It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
