I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
