i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
