he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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