Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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