Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
