Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
