She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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