Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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