Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
