OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
