I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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