guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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