Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
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And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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