Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
