we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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