I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
