weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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