I'm laying in your front yard are you home
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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