Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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