so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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