you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
