Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
