So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
