you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
