I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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