I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize