Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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