I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
