She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
