I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
