Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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