i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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