o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
