i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
