There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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