we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
