He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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