don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
