Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
