apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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