In the future we'll all be gay
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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