its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
