and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
