12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
