dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
