It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
