my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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