Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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