I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
