I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
