i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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