If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
