My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
