once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize