You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
