maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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